The Bible is filled with pretty messed up people.
Have you read through the entire book of Genesis?
I grew up in Sunday School thinking of these people as heros. It starts with Adam and Eve - the first man and woman on earth, who start their lovey-dovey relationship by blaming each other for eating an apple. AN APPLE. They bore children of which one son kills the other out of jealousy. #familygoals #fail
THEN the world became so messed-up that God had to wipe out the entire human race. God does save one man, Noah, and his family. It’s amazing how the obedience of one man can save an entire family.
Lot had daughters that got him drunk and slept with him to preserve their family line. How warped is that? Jacob tricked Esau (his older brother) into selling his birthright for a bowl of soup, which started generations of sibling rivalry.
Rachel was so obsessed and competitive about producing children for Jacob that she even brought her slave girls to sleep with her husband to out number her sister.
Rahab was a prostitute.
Joseph was the favorite son out of his 12 siblings. But out of jealousy, his brothers sell him as a slave.
The craziest thing is that all these people led to the genealogy of Jesus. God knew the depths of darkness in their hearts, yet redeemed their sinfulness and used their life to restore light to the world.
I don't know about you, but that gives me hope.
No matter how far gone you feel you are, God still wants you. Just like Rachel, we often focus too much on comparing our lives, our accomplishments and judging how much we deserve based on merit. Grace is not about what we deserve, it is about what God gives, regardless of what you deserve. God knows everything about you, and He still loves you. You are never out of reached to be loved, redeemed and used by Him to do good works.